A dear friend of mine having severe self confidence issues asked me how I stay so confident. She spirals emotionally, and assumed that it was something that confident people don't have to deal with. So, I told her i'd write out the next time I had a similar experience, and how I worked myself out of it.
Maybe I Don't Know Shit: A Meditation
What if there is something wrong with my foundation? Shit. When did I form the basis of my beliefs? 16? 21? I didn't know shit at 21. I was an idiot at 21. What are the chances that I got it all right? Slim. Shit.
Maybe I don't know shit.
Maybe I put too much energy into people.
Maybe I get taken advantage of because i'm too understanding.
Maybe my friends are laughing at me.
Maybe my ex is making a fool of me.
Maybe I'm setting myself up to fail.
Maybe I'm a parody of my potential self.
I write these thoughts out, so that I can either address them, and either give them their proper weight, or discard them as ridiculous. Anything that I feel is an issue, I write out what i'm going to do about it. Even if it's deciding on a mindset. Decisions are easy to make, when you actually decide to make them.
There are things, situations, and people, that I know I have a weakness for. When I accept them as inevitable forces of nature, instead of controllable parts of my life, they have the potential to undermine my priorities. Spiraling, mentally, is dangerous and addictive and it's vital to recognize the things that make you do so.
How many of these thoughts are regulated by fear, and what am I doing about it? What events put me in this mindset, and how can I make sure it doesn't happen again?
If preparation is the key to self confidence, and self confidence is the key to success, how are you preparing?
......then I have a glass of wine, and get to it.