My grandmother once told me that the devil is anything you hate, can't get away from, and you're convinced that you have to try and take on alone. "Bam Bam- it doesn't matter what you believe in, we all have our own demons to deal with."
For the longest time I was addicted to struggling; I hate struggling. However, if the world wasn't falling apart, and I wasn't scrambling to make it all work, I would find a way to undercut it. I didn't know how to be happy, or content. Slowly, eventually, I started to recognize some reoccurring thoughts:
"These things aren't right for me because of **Insert repetitive statement A/B/C**"
"I can't quit, what will these people who don't matter think of me?"
" I can't focus on my future, look at these problems I created for myself that I have to deal with!"
" I have to do this alone. I have to prove that I can do this alone. I'm weak if I ask for help."
We didn't get here alone. We didn't become who we are alone. Why, all of a sudden, do we think we have to do it alone now?
The inherent pressure in that line of thought can be paralyzing.
It takes time, and effort to grow past that. The worst part about deciding to work on yourself is removing the shield of pride protecting your ego. Being content means i'd have to focus inwards, it's much easier to find problems in the things around me and get absorbed in those instead. So, i'll do that.
Asking for help, realizing that i'm a product of my choices, habits, and surroundings, then prioritizing long term growth over short term satisfaction, is a skill. Just like any other, it's something that needs to be developed, and is easier with the help of others.
Living in a society is a team sport. Playing it alone is setting yourself up for failure.