I got a phone call in the morning from a crying mother, who had found my name on her daughters suicide note. I was listed with 4 others, all of us regulars at the same coffee shop; we would chat in line before heading to work before the day. Her daughter worked there, and would greet us with a pithy quip, and we would respond in kind. We weren't friends, her mother had found my number on a year old card in her wallet. I couldn't have told you her first name with surety, or her last name at all before yesterday. But, she had listed me as one of the few people that saw her as “more than nothing”
As of yesterday, I’ve had 5 people in the past year that I was connected with commit suicide. 5. I don’t like to talk about it, I don't know how to talk about it. I don't talk about it. It infuriates me. It frightens me. I fundamentally don't understand it. These are people that I interacted with regularly, people I thought I checked in with. People I thought were okay, or, in some cases, doing really well. I was wrong.
It never hurts to ask an extra question. It never hurts to reach out. You never know whose day you're making, or breaking.
I don't have a solution, I don't think there is a universal one. However, I do have a phone. Too often, we think we only have one option, and no one to reach out to. Sometimes, we are too proud, or embarrassed to reach out to our friends and family. If you don't already have it -1 (800) 273-8255 is the Suicide Prevention hotline, they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you feel like that's too much, call me. Seriously. 408-429-3021
If you can't find a way out(of a situation, or your own head) call me.
If you think that there is no other route, call me.
If you just need someone to hear you so that you don't think you're crazy, call me.
I probably don't have the answers, but I can listen.